I am now at home after a short emergency trip to hospital. I feel a little guilty as I now feel quite fine. I little of kilter but generally fine. I should pride myself on getting in early though as I usually leave these things until I am so ill that it really does become an emergeny situation. It's very hard to describe the intense fear I get when I realise I'm sick. After two days of feeling desperately unwell I became overwhelmed with an intense desire to be back home with the people I love. I am fearful to be alone though. I have such good support and it's nice to know that people have already arranged to come and help us out. After being picked up from hospital we went to the park where I watched my little loved one play. It makes my heart burst with happiness when I see her happy grin while she plays. Even when I feel terribly terribly at rock bottom, seeing a little face give you a smile that begins at the corner of her lips and radiates all the way up to her beautiful eyes, at the very least momentarily makes everything good again. I know this week will be incredibly hard. It's always fearful but comforting to know that things will slowly slowly improve.