I have see the surgeon in a couple of weeks. I'm petrified. I had surgery 10 years ago and had myriad post surgery complications and spent far too much time in ICU and had something like 13 blood transfusions. I was a wreck after the surgery, both pysically and emotionally. So, yes, the thought of having bowel surgery again fills me with fear. It's easy to say I was unlucky last time and there's no way this time would be as bad. Now all I have to do is make myself believe that. Today, again I spent the day at home, slightly dizzy and resting for most of the day. Back to work tomorrow, which suprisingly I'm looking forward to. I guess over the next couple of weeks I can make myself as well as possible and be in a good pysical and mental state before surgery. I let my brain ramble on and on, thinking of all the possibilities and the things that might be or might not be. I look at people who 'look' well and wonder if they to are sick. If they have any secrets they are hiding, hoping that no one can see inside their head. I wonder if when people walk past me, they can momentarily view the scene playing out in my head. One never knows.