So much time has passed. My birthday party was amazing. Despite my ecclectic collection of friends, everyone seemed to have a fantastic time. I loved it. At some point during the night I looked at someone special and thought to myself that we've come a long way and still have a long way to go yet. Then my stomach started with the butterflies, that strange yet familiar feeling of wondering what the hell you're doing and more importantly why the hell you're doing it. I try and push it aside, pretend that it's all ok or tell myself never again will I feel like this.