Today is technically day 90 but I know it doesn't stop here. It doesn't miraculously get any better, or even any worse for that matter. I've been in bed for the last few days with a fever and a slightly delirious head space. I guess that makes it easier to belive I'm doing ok because when I'm genuinely sick I just can't be bothered with bad behaviour. It's a chance, however, to connect bad behaviours to bad feelings and hopefully sometimes that's just enough to brings up ill feelings when I think about undertaking certain behaviours. I don't think I should start 90 days again, I think I should just continue on a journey of abandoning reckless and stupid behaviour. But how do I stay true to that when I'm so on edge or my mind is in a whirlwind of of heightened desire to drift back into bad behaviour?