Today is strange. Stranger than I've felt in a while. The strange light headedness of being slightly ill and recovering from a high fever the past week. It's a bit odd trying to figure out what's real and what's not. Right now it seems all to real that I'm trying to deal with the mundaness of domestic life but wishing I was simply going mad. Madness would be preferable to any sort normalcy and watching the world go by doing stupidly mundane things that do nothing to enhance their inner world. I would rather be committed and have my brain and mind work overtime channeling into a world where things are distorted and fanciful and fun. Where you have an absolute freedom to think whatever you want and to voice whatever you want. Who cares if the people restrained by a suit or a sensible dress think it's odd. It's not odd. What's odd is going through life never even contemplating a different way of thinking. A different way if doing things even if it doesn't get the expected result. I don't care about 'expected' results. I care about my brain being in a whirlwind of desire and fantasy, yet still within the confines of what I see, feel and hear around me. I wish I could more often feel like I feel when I'm in that hypnogogic state and I can't tell what's real. But it's such a wonderfully out of control feeling. If I'm going to be out of control then I want it to be grand.