This could be a continuation and therefore it would be day 94. But if it's a new start it would be day 4. I don't really care anymore. Does it really matter how many 'days' it takes, as long as things head in the right direction. The problem is sometimes that direction is not always what people might consider the 'correct' direction. I'm torn between taking two paths. Somedays it's easy to convince myself, or rather stay on automatic pilot, and take the correct path. Other days I deliberately want to take the path that leads me away from normality and away from the rest of society. At least this path has no end, I can keep going, meeting amazing people along the way who themselves have often taken the wrong path too. On the 'correct' road I do meet some amazing people, but there is something restrained about it all. Sort of like, don't diverge too far or attempt to go a long way because this normal road ends. For me, it's like there's a road block at the end and that's it. That's it! Is that it for life, nothing more, can't push your mind to think on consider other options of what could be out there. Life would be much easier if I'd never discovered the 'incorrect' path, then I'd never know what I was missing out on. The problem is I do know what I would miss out on if I took the correct road, and I most certainly do not want to miss out on any of it. No matter how dark or painful it might be, it's an incredible experience that I need need need to have.