There are days that I turn right around and consciously go backward (perhaps even deliberately) and I've absolutely no idea why. I know I am at a point where I have to battle the bad thoughts on a daily basis. Yes no, yes no, yes no. Back and forth they go, each one trying to win. Sometimes I momentarily forget what I'm supposed to be obsessing about and then it hits my like lightening and I panic that I've gone too far and while I try and convince myself to back track there's a little rational thought in my brain telling me not to worry about it. But when push comes to shove I always worry about it.