It's technically day 69 but I've stayed up so late I feel like it's still day 68. My sleep has been so erratic over the past 48 hours that I really can't tell which day or what time of day it is. Today I slept until midday, but I woke with a fever early in the morning, almost delirious, and went back to sleep. Two days ago I said that I can't sustain what I'm doing and that is already proving true. A fever, early on Tuesday morning has been the only time my mind state has been altered, but that has not stopped the strange thoughts about what could be and what might come my way if I let it happen. But right now I feel I should go to sleep, try to shift my body clock, to fit in with the normal world. I wonder why, it's something that I've never wanted to do, something that I wished I didn't have to do. I don't know why I should, I don't want to feel forced to fit in where I don't and don't even want to.