It is with both trepidation and relief that I realise I'm well on the way to what I thought would be 90 days. Day 74. Day 73 was not good. Today was somewhat better but then I hear that I look tired and drained. Told that I am running away again, self soothing with substances that were once enjoyed with friends and all was well, but now it's because I need to get rid of that mass of whatever it is sitting in stomach, creeping up to my throat. Told that I often ended up either in tears or left with a silent rage sitting inside me and not knowing how to get rid of it. Apparently there is a solution, or at least something akin to a solution. I'm not sure I want to dissolve the rage. Perhaps I find it quite cathartic letting the rage simmer away as it keeps me motivated to ensure that I do all I can to change how things are today.