Day 56 and it's the first day of 2010. Surely 2010 will be a better year than 2009. There are such great expectations surrounding a new year. Everybody wishes for a new start, lots of luck and all the other somewhat stupid things that people write in the Christmas cards they send out with photos of their children on it. When I finally purge the Christmas cards some months into the new year I feel slightly strange tossing our a photo where a child or children are smiling up at me. I remember their faces, I don't need a photo. I slept quite late today after a drunken evening. Everybody seems to be on holiday and outside on the streets it reminds me a little bit of a movie where something awful has happended and the streets have been abandoned. Like a nuclear holocust where everthing seems left to perish and the landscape terrifying. I can't wait for the world to get back to normal and it's business as usual. I feel an astonishing sense of fear when my world has been abandoned.