It's day 10 and I feel like I have to make up in today what I failed in yesterday. I'm only at day 10 and I'e already given in twice. I hate myself when I give in, it, eventually it makes me feel sick. Sometimes I just wish I was 'normal' as such, but then I don't think I could live with my emotions only ever swinging marginally from either side of the pendulum. I guess it's feeling those emotions at both extremes of the pendulum that make me realise there is so much more to be experienced than not having the pendulum swing.