I realise now that I've actually made it through 4 days. 4 days of hell. 4 days of bliss. 4 days of nothing to think about other than whether I'll even wake up or not. My dreams are vivid and full of potent emotion that sucks the life out of me by the time I wake. Four days is good. But htf do I get through the next 86 days. I wish my waking thoughts could be my sleep time and that my dreams at night could be lived out during the day. I don't want to fail at this, I don't want to fall yet again and have to start all over again. Perhaps it is not right for me to be living this mundane life. Who know what awaits when I sleep tonight.