Today I told myself it might be a good thing to go backwards to get forwards. Even though I know those things I once did, I did through a twisted lens of not being able to see straight. I remember a night going back to a bed I was confined to (somewhat against my will) feeling totally and utterly devastated that I was unsure of my next move. Funny how one emotion can be so strong yet you know you don't to feel it.
Since that night and since that dilemma in my mind, I've not been able to go back to who I was.