I woke at 4am last night. Restless, shaky and shadowed by a thought that something was not right. I couldn't stop moving, walking and simply wishing I could go back to sleep. I finally fell into a restless sleep only to wake with a start of realising scared I would fall into such a deep sleep I would be paralysed with fear. Today was one of those days when I could have so easily burst into tears anytime anyone spoke to me. I often find myself standing among other people wishing I could see into their mind. I want to see if the boring crap coming out of their mouth is what is really what they are thinking. We feel compelled to talk about the obvious common things. Me, I'd love to just smoothly say the strange and dark things that are in my mind. The consequences however may not be best for having to see these people day in, day out at the school gate. But damn, it can be so fucking boring.