I am two thirds of the way through what I thought would or still could be 90 days. Today I felt my mind easing back into familiar patterns, and I like it somewhat more than I have in the past 2 months. That's not a good thing. I seem to sway back and forth between thinking that there is nothing wrong with being this way and knowing or believing that it shouldn't be this way. Today I started of thinking that it doesn't matter, there's nothing wrong with this, it's just that most people don't see it this way. Perhaps they just don't understand, can't see beyond the constraints of what society says it 'good' or 'bad'. So much of what swirls around in my brain is frowned upon. But how do I know that everyone else doesn't have the same thoughts and are just not saying anything. I expect there are a lot of people who's thought processes are just as strange or yearning to be different. But they just won't admit it.