Day 58 and I found myself momentarily back in the head space I've been trying so hard to get away from. The problem is I like the thoughts in that head space, I just don't like the consequences if I act. I knew straight away though it was a mistake and I was able to stop myself from taking further action. I guess that's a good thing. It's true that the longer this goes on the easier it gets. I always expected that there would be blemishes along this path, blemishes that will perhaps remind me of what a long and trecherous journey it is. It's not just going to be 90 days. I only wrote that because once I read that it takes approximately 3 months to break a habit. It's hard to break a habit that rewards you in many ways, even if only you think so. I yearn for the feeling of being able to wake up feeling and want to face the day. I yearn for that feeling I think I'd get if I were to lay in grass and look up at the sky, perhaps a night sky and feel the air swirling around me, making everything seem blurry, but making my body feel light and awash with feelings of nothingness.