Hyped up but feel ready to lay down and try and sleep. I don't know how or why I make myself do it again and again. It's an urge that just doesn't seem to wane. Yesterday was the first day in a long time where I didn't desire to lay down and let my body melt away and my mind stayed stagnant for some time. I need my mind to keep craving things that remind that the world is not all insane. So many things seem crazy and insane and some days I just watch people moving around, wondering what they're thinking, if they think anything is odd in this world. I guess perhaps they really don't think about it. That can be the biggest downfall. It makes it complicated to think. Just don't think. Just pretend you can get up every day and not think. But what would I be without trying to see inside people's heads.